Eat, Drink & Keep the Peace This Holiday Season

We’ve passed Halloween and the holiday season is officially upon us. I know this for a fact because some of my friends have started posting pictures on social media of Christmas trees that they’ve recently put up in their respective living rooms.

I still have my Halloween decorations on my door and even a few decorations hanging from the ceiling, all visible remnants of my recent costume/Halloween party that I had last week.

I may still be adjusting to the realization that the leaves have officially turned, but the rest of my social media friends clearly aren’t – they’ve embraced the holiday spirit fully, complete with decorations.

In my last column, I discussed how to maintain your sanity, budget, health and exercise routine during this time of year. In this column, I want to discuss how to avoid fights with your relatives (you can thank me later).

Thankfully, I get along with most of my relatives and all of my immediate family members. Perhaps that’s because I’m 50% sass and 50% encyclopedia Britannica – filled with verifiable facts and reports. I know I probably make it hard for my relatives to argue with me because I often recall statistics and studies during tough debates and conversations. It’s hard to argue with a journalist who spends hours a day reading and consuming information, right?

Truth be told though, I live nearly 3,000 miles away from most of my family. I prefer to spend my time enjoying them, not debating current events – even if I know I’m right (I’m half joking, of course). So what does this queen of sass do around family? I try to avoid divisive political debates. Here are some additional tips for avoiding conflict with Uncle Bob and other relatives during the holiday season:

• As I mentioned, avoid politics. It’s a tense time in this country, and while it’s important to not totally avoid the subject in your everyday life, perhaps you can skip it for the few hours and/or days you’re with your family. I would also try to avoid religious debates as well. There isn’t much in this world that gets people heated up more quickly than politics and religion. I pray you can avoid both this holiday season.
• Don’t talk smack, meaning, avoid complaining about a family member to another family member.
• Allow your relatives to reinvent themselves without you reminding them of who they used to be – specifically if the previous version wasn’t the best one. People don’t like to be reminded of their mistakes. If your sister or Aunt Karen used to drink a bottle of wine over dinner every year, consider not mentioning it when they decide to drink Martinelli’s sparkling cider this year. Instead, just smile to yourself and be happy for them and their liver – in silence.
• Be prepared to be helpful. During the holidays, I know I’ll likely get stuck with the cooking. I miss the days of my mom doing this. However, I realize my parents are getting older and the torch has been passed on. Whether you like it or not, it’s just a few days out of the year, so try to suck it up and be helpful (and remember all that your parents have done for you).
• Bury the hatchet. If you’ve had past disagreements with family members, avoid bringing up the topics that may have previously caused tension. As the saying goes, let bygones be bygones.

Hopefully these tips will save you from potential conflicts and help you maintain a little bit of sanity during the holiday season.

Speaking of maintaining sanity, I have a bit of a personal announcement to make.

During the past two years of writing my “Unveiled With Tahira Hayes” column, I’ve continuously covered how important it is to maintain your mental health, set boundaries, and allow time for creativity and relaxation. It’s a subject of great importance to me because I believe without your health, you really have nothing.

After some quiet reflection, I realized I’ve become the busy person that I write so many of my articles for – the person who never sits still and is constantly just a little bit, or even a lot, stressed out. My overly ambitious schedule was affirmed by an old friend who I hadn’t talked to in a while. She was asking me what I had been doing lately. I rattled off to her about my full-time job, my freelance job, my Tall Hungry Girl brand and podcast I recently started, and my volunteer work on a board that requires me to travel five and a half hours on a plane to attend meetings three times a year. She simply replied, “No wonder you’re stressed. When do you sleep?” It was a good question. I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately.

It’s always so much easier to give advice than to take it. However, I’m finally taking my own advice and creating a bit more space in my life – for sleep, creativity and perhaps binge-watching Netflix. Who knows, the possibilities are endless.

With that being said, this will be my last “Unveiled” column. I’ve enjoyed using this platform to share information and my perspective during the past two years. I want to give a huge thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read my column, and even send me a message. Even the not-so-nice notes were gentle reminders that people other than my parents are reading my articles, and just knowing that made this writer very happy. I also want to give a huge shout out of thanks to my editors, Michael and Natasha, who gave me the freedom to creatively write. You guys are awesome.

But don’t fear, I’m not disappearing completely. I’ll still be writing the People and Community columns for CU Times and an occasional feature article here and there. If you’re really feeling ambitious or start to miss my commentary, you can also find my podcast, Tall Hungry Girl, on iTunes and Spotify.

Thanks for reading, it’s been my pleasure.

Tahira Hayes is a correspondent-at-large for CU Times. She can be reached at thayes@cutimes.com.