When the World Tells You No

Rejection in your career and life can leave you feeling defeated and hopeless, but it doesn’t have to be that way. This cliché and overused quote still holds true for me: “When one door closes, another one opens.” Sometimes you have to pick the lock and open the door yourself, but I do believe persistence and endurance eventually pay off.

Rejection shouldn’t be viewed a stop sign, but instead a detour sign – one that is perhaps pointing you toward a new direction or just a longer route to achieving your goal.

Growing up with three siblings, dealing with rejection was a rite of my passage in my house. My requests to borrow the car, hang out with my sister and her friends, or stay out late were generally always met with a resounding “no.”

Perhaps this was a great form of preparation for the rejection that would inevitably follow as time passed by, especially as I navigated the competitive career field of journalism – which is not for the faint of heart.

My first life-altering rejection took place after I applied to the University of Oregon, where I was set on obtaining a degree in journalism. As it turns out, getting good grades in high school is a pre-requisite for college admission and I didn’t have them. That meant I didn’t get into the one and only college I applied to. As a 17-year-old high school student, it felt like the end of the world. But it was also a character-building moment and a good lesson in consequences.

It also turned out to be an opportunity for me to turn a rejection into a chance to get creative. Instead of giving up on college, I applied to a neighboring community college that I attended for my first year before transferring to U of O for the remainder of my college education. Because of this, I saved a lot on tuition and was still able to live in the U of O dorms, thus not compromising what was most important to me at that point in time – a social life. I also knew the stakes were high, so I didn’t miss one class during fall term of my freshman year.

After graduating college, I was intent on getting a job as a television news reporter, and the rejections continued. I submitted my VHS resume reel, a showcase of various news stories I had done, to countless television news stations across the country. I never got a call back from a single station.

The rejection was so painful it was almost comical. It also put my journalism career on ice. I didn’t give up though – instead, I got creative again and started applying to fellowships and programs for recent college grads, including a six-month program at the PBS NewsHour (formerly the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer) in Arlington, Va., which paid $8 an hour. I applied twice and was rejected both times, but I didn’t let that deter me. I was a polite pest and sent follow-up emails every few months reminding the hiring manager that I was still interested, and on my third try, I finally got accepted into the program.

Getting that job forever changed the trajectory of my career. I moved to the nation’s capital, where more success and rejection awaited.

After leaving the PBS NewsHour, I eventually got a job as a writer for the Military Health System. In my attempt to move up the ranks there, I applied for a job in media relations in a different area of the organization. I was told by my lead that the director of my office said I was “too valuable to lose.” Instead of accepting this, I went above my boss’s head (which is not something I would ever recommend) straight to the director and asked for his permission to leave, explaining to him that this was my dream job. A few weeks later, I started the media relations job.

At so many points in my career, I’ve been told no. I remember going to an event where Jessica Yellin, journalist and former CNN White House correspondent, was speaking, and I asked her how women like me were supposed to navigate the field of journalism when it was becoming increasingly more difficult and opportunities were being eliminated. She said, “Create your own opportunities.” And that’s exactly what I’ve done. I started my own brand and podcast, and I also advocate for myself in all areas of my professional life to let those around me know I’m interested in different opportunities.

Rejection can also be a blessing in disguise. I once made it to the final round of interviews for a job, and was devastated when I didn’t get it. A few months later, I found out the position was eliminated in an organization-wide restructure.

Take it from the girl who initially didn’t get into college, but now serves on the board of directors for the University of Oregon Alumni Association: Rejection may be part of your journey, but it’s certainly not all of it. Keep going. You hold the pen in your life story, so make it a good one, rejection and all.

Tahira Hayes is a correspondent-at-large for CU Times. She can be reached at thayes@cutimes.com.