Stuck in a Life Rut? Try Taking Just One Step Forward

We’ve all been there. You’re sitting through one of life’s storms, wondering when the winds will stop blowing. Whether it’s related to career confusion or another life event, challenge and adversity are part of the human experience.

Some of the greatest leaps I’ve taken have been when I was under the most pressure and facing a lot of adversity. For example, after graduating from college I moved in with my sister and slept on a twin-sized mattress in her living room (talk about a humbling experience). I had been feverishly applying for journalism jobs all over the country and didn’t want to sign a lease out of fear I would get a job and have to move somewhere quickly.

After several months and no job offers, I decided to get an apartment on my own and take a job at a bank. The job was walking distance to my new apartment, conveniently located in Portland, Ore.’s Pearl District, a cute neighborhood with lots of bars and restaurants. My life was filled with happy hours, dinners with friends, hiking and a huge sense of comfort. My temporary happiness had distracted me from my job search, so I stopped searching feverishly – until an armed robber decided to pay me a visit at my job.

It was traumatic, as one would assume, but it snapped me out of my temporary comfort zone and reminded me of my goal – to get a job in journalism. Prior to the robbery I was happy. Complacent, but happy. I don’t want to go as far as to say being robbed was a divine intervention – because it wasn’t – however, I did use the experience to propel forward and remind myself of my goals. Soon after, I stepped up my job search and finally got an offer from a television program in Washington, D.C.

I’m always reminded of this quote from, oddly enough, a television commercial: “A body in motion, stays in motion.” So the simple act of taking a step forward helps to prevent stagnation, especially in your career. If you’re like many of us who are trying to figure out your next career move or where you fit in in this great thing we call life, start with a step forward. As my other favorite quote goes, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

What does it mean to take a step forward when you’re not quite sure about your ultimate direction? It means to apply for that job you want but didn’t think you were qualified for, send a message to that recruiter on LinkedIn, take that Spanish class you’ve been thinking about or start checking items off your bucket list. During the process of learning and experiencing, we often build confidence to take bigger steps than we thought we could, and with that, unearth new interests or opportunities for engagement and success. The process of learning is a repellent to feelings of stagnation, which can often be paralyzing in your quest for your next career move or life change. Growth in one area of your life often spills over to another – especially when it comes to your career.

So, if you’re looking to grow in your career or life, here are some tips on taking that next step:

• If you’re interested in engaging with your network to explore the possibility of a job change, make sure you have a sense of what it is you want to do. That means defining your career goals and aspirations.
• If you want a new job, start applying. It’s easy to get caught up in the “complain game,” where you complain about your job but do nothing about it. Applying for jobs gives you a sense of empowerment and feeling that you’re in control of your career trajectory.
• Check out Meetup.com. It’s a place where you can join a group or create your own group, and meet people near you who share your interests. Before my shoulder injury, I used to meet up with people to play volleyball around the city. It was a great way to get to know new people while doing something I loved. They also have meetup groups for professional areas of interest as well.
• Talk to your boss about growth opportunities. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
• Write it down! Have goals you want to meet? Make a list. When you define your goals on paper, you’ll have a daily reminder and it’ll be easier for you to meet them.
• Travel. Whether that means going across the street, to the next town or to the next continent, travel promotes knowledge and the growth of ideas, and helps you feel confident that you can do something outside of your comfort zone.

Send me your stories about how you navigated out of a life rut at the email below.

Tahira Hayes is a correspondent-at-large for CU Times. She can be reached at thayes@cutimes.com.