– Eric Liu

What is aging, really?

“Most people don't grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.”

– Maya Angelou

I can sleep when I am dead … but I'm not that sleepy …

“You spend 90% of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10% trying to convince the Lord that you're actually not that tired.”

– Robert Brault

Waiting a lifetime…

“I had to wait 110 years to become famous. I wanted to enjoy it as long as possible.”

– Jeanne Louise Calment (1875-1997)

Why are snowballs so heavy?

“The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.”

– Doug Larso

A chocolate a day keeps the wrinkles away?

“I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crow's feet.”

– Amy Neftzger

No one likes socks…

“I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.”

– Albert Einstein

You've made it …

“We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.”

– Frank Howard Clark

What about MSG?

“Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.”

– Robert Orben

Calling a plastic surgeon …

“Maybe it's true that life begins at 50. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.”

– Phyllis Diller

Out of sight, out of mind…

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”

– Henry Ford

Never give up, never surrender …

“Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”

– Samuel Ullman

Well-aged wine…

“I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.”

– Rose Kennedy

A poet's perspective …

“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.”

– Robert Frost

Death … not today, not today…

“From my perspective, there's no reason to be afraid of aging, because if you age, you're lucky! The alternative is death.”

– Drew Barrymore

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

“Old people love to give good advice to console themselves for no longer being able to set a bad example.”

– François de La Rochefoucauld

Is there an app for that?

“By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.”

– George Burns

Adding insult to injury…

“There are three periods in life: youth, middle age and 'how well you look.'”

– Nelson Rockefeller

Like a prayer …

Prayer of an Anonymous Abbess:

“Lord, thou knowest better than myself that I am growing older and will soon be old. Keep me from becoming too talkative, and especially from the unfortunate habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and at every opportunity.

Release me from the idea that I must straighten out other peoples' affairs. With my immense treasure of experience and wisdom, it seems a pity not to let everybody partake of it. But thou knowest, Lord, that in the end I will need a few friends.

Keep me from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point.

Grant me the patience to listen to the complaints of others; help me to endure them with charity. But seal my lips on my own aches and pains — they increase with the increasing years and my inclination to recount them is also increasing.

I will not ask thee for improved memory, only for a little more humility and less self-assurance when my own memory doesn't agree with that of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be wrong.

Keep me reasonably gentle. I do not have the ambition to become a saint — it is so hard to live with some of them — but a harsh old person is one of the devil's masterpieces.

Make me sympathetic without being sentimental, helpful but not bossy. Let me discover merits where I had not expected them, and talents in people whom I had not thought to possess any. And, Lord, give me the grace to tell them so.

Amen”

– Margot Benary-Isbert

Nurse!

“There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.”

– John Mortimer

Here, have some coffee…

“What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.”

– Voltaire

Investing in old age…

“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'”

– Claude Pepper

A message from Classical Athens…

“He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden.”

– Plato

The fountain of youth for you and your clients…

“If your customer base is aging with you, then eventually you are going to become obsolete or irrelevant. You need to be constantly figuring out who are your new customers and what are you doing to stay forever young.”

– Jeff Bezos

I had the best time of my life…

“The other day a man asked me what I thought was the best time of life. 'Why,' I answered without a thought, 'now.'

– David Grayson

Getting a haircut…

“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.”

– Sam Ewing

How many candles are on your cake?

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”

–Larry Lorenzoni

You reap what you sow…

“We are happier in many ways when we are old than when we were young. The young sow wild oats. The old grow sage.”

– Winston Churchill

Is noon the best time of day?

“Probably the happiest period in life most frequently is in middle age, when the eager passions of youth are cooled, and the infirmities of age not yet begun; as we see that the shadows, which are at morning and evening so large, almost entirely disappear at midday.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Is it all about context?

“The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.”

– Arthur Schopenhauer