What we have here is a failure to communicate.

I remember shortly after college I was working a temporary job on a college campus, serving as an assistant in the aerospace engineering department. The job was rather uneventful until one day, when I made a wisecrack to a professor who was struggling with the office photocopier. I suggested that only a rocket scientist could figure the thing out, adding the zinger that oops, I guess you are a rocket scientist.

Word of my snark quickly spread through the department, and soon the professor's arch enemy took me under his wing. He questioned why a seemingly intelligent college grad was working a temporary job. What did my parents think, he asked?

I don't know, I replied. They haven't even come to visit me since I moved here.

His response quickly broke up my young adult pity party: Did you invite them? Do they feel welcome in your home?

It was a defining moment in the development of my emotional intelligence, because the truth was, I had not made them feel welcome. I had never even considered that I needed to do such a thing. After all, just a few years earlier I was still in high school, and if my parents wanted to enter my space, they just opened the door and walked right in.

I don't know what happened at the NCUA during contract negotiations, but outside Washington's inner circles, it doesn't matter. The end result was that the agency looked childish to its stakeholders and the rest of the financial services industry.

I recently read an article about executive behavior that cited research by Georgetown University Associate Professor Christine Porath. Her studies revealed the difference between leadership that is tough and direct, and one in which leaders display bad habits that cross the line into rude territory.

One of those behaviors is pointing out a colleague's flaws in front of others. It causes some executives to feel excluded, while others feel like they are part of a club.

Partisan politicking has created a clubby environment at the NCUA. It started shortly after McWatters was confirmed for the position, and Matz appointed Rick Metsger to the vice chairman position. The message was clear: No matter what McWatters says or thinks, he will be outvoted.

Likewise, McWatters didn't play nice with Matz when he was sworn in to his position in House Financial Services Committee Chairman Jeb Hensarling's Dallas office. Matz was not invited to take part in the festivities.

That's too bad, because both board members have shown they are capable of working with those on the other side of the aisle. For years, Matz and former Board Member Michael Fryzel worked out their differences before proposed and final rules were added to the board agenda. They weren't united, but at least they appeared professional.

Likewise, McWatters still enjoys a good working relationship with his former TARP committee member Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who is arguably one of Capitol Hill's most liberal leaders and has a reputation for sticking by her guns, even if it means disagreeing with members of her own party.

On Thursday, the NCUA board will review the mid-year budget, and I'm expecting plenty of public fireworks between Matz and McWatters.

While we've received comments from readers that debate is good for the industry, I hope both leaders are able to communicate in a tough and direct manner without being rude.

It takes two to tango, and both sides must bury the hatchet and treat each other with mutual respect for the benefit of the entire industry.