The Federal Drug Administration today approved a new drug designed to fight the affects of the interchange cap on financial services executives.
"This is a breakthrough in designer drugs that is safe and effective in alleviating angst, anxiety and fear among a targeted group of potential sufferers," said April Firstwater, a spokesman for the FDA. "What really impressed us, and caused us to fast-track approval, was the drug's ability to allow the user to see the upside of a 12 cent per transaction fee."
The new drug, called DurbinEez, was developed and is manufactured by B. Wary Pharma. Rare but serious side effects include hot flashes, decreased earnings and an overwhelming desire to hug an NCUA examiner.
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